OPINION PIECE A

Erasing the Memory of Desire: Individual Fulfillment in a Delusional World

The emotions associated with love and desire are perhaps the most fundamental part of the human experience – neither kings nor beggars can escape the cruel clutches of Cupid. What many do not realize is that when we fall in love, we are actually falling in love with our idealized image[i] of the other. We do not desire the other for who they truly are, but rather what we want them to be. This idealized image deepens the division between self and other and makes the fulfillment of desire an impossible feat.

Where do these idealized images come from? When a memory is first formed, it is vulnerable to personal interpretation. As a memory is consolidated, we create a long-term memory based on our interpretation and reaction to the event2. We then use these memories to construct an image of the beloved. However, new breakthroughs in the arena of neuroscience indicate that specific memories can be targeted and erased, or at the very least neutralized, to alter the physiological reaction to memories.

Particularly in recent years, neuroscientists have made countless advances in the arena of memory erasure. In 2007, Yadin Dudai discovered that injecting the brain with a certain protein inhibitor caused memories to be forgotten at an increased rate in lab animals[ii]. This January, researchers at the Medical University of Vienna discovered that opioids could be used to completely erase spinal memory traces of pain[iii]. Additionally, many neuroscientists have looked to behavioral conditioning as a means of altering the subject’s emotional response to a specific memory[iv]. The implications of these discoveries may extend to affect not only medical practices, but also the manipulation of personal desires.

An important thing to keep in mind is that memory erasure is a double-edged sword – it can be used as a means to both destroy and preserve the image of the beloved. Unmet desires could be erased from the brain permanently by destroying the memories used to construct the image of the beloved. To desire is to acknowledge that the self is lacking something and unmet desires can lead to prolonged feelings of deficiency and dissatisfaction. Recent research indicates that it is probable that within the next few years, neuroscientists will be capable of targeting and erasing memories of unmet desires. This could lead to healthier opinions of self, higher self esteem, and a stronger sense of fulfillment on a societal level.

Conversely, memory neutralization can assist in the upkeep of an idealized image. On some occasions, the beloved exhibits a behavior that disrupts or damages the idealized image. If a specific memory or event triggered the dissolution of the image of the beloved, it can be neutralized. In the instance that a significant other made a hasty comment or was caught in a lie, the negative emotions of betrayal associated with the memory can be neutralized. This makes an open, rational dialogue about the issue more possible.  In this way, the discovery of memory neutralization can be used to assist in relational conflict resolution.

There is speculation that the manipulation of memories can increase the probability that a relationship will be fulfilling and enduring. However, the scientific community has seen a strong backlash from ethicist groups on these discoveries. Although memory erasure and neutralization may make for a more positive individual experience with desire, it is nevertheless a false rendering of reality.  When considering the ethical use of memory erasure for non-medical purposes, the age-old question arises: Is the delusion of a society worth the fulfillment of the individual?

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[i] Lacan, Jacques. 1949. Pp. 1-3 and 172-175 in Écrits: A Selection. New York: Taylor and Francis, 1977.

[ii] Shema, Reut, Todd Charlton Sacktor, and Yadin Dudai. "Rapid erasure of long-term memory associations in the cortex by an inhibitor of PKM." Science Signalling 317.5840 (2007): 951.

[iii] Drdla-Schutting, Ruth, Justus Benrath, • Gabriele Wunderbaldinger, and Jürgen Sandkühler. "Erasure of a Spinal Memory Trace of Pain by a Brief, High-Dose Opioid Administration." Science 335.6065 (2012): 235-38.

[iv] Reichelt, Amy. "Remembering To Forget." The Conversation. The Conversation Media Group, 2 Oct. 2012. Web.

OPINION PIECE B

Love: What Happens When Pain Becomes Pleasure

                How many times have we been told? Love hurts. To be in love, requited or not, is to be, to some extent, in a constant state of pain. A person in love will spend hours watching the phone waiting for a call that will never come, or will be irrationally upset by any mistake their partner makes. It comes down to this: everyone is human, and all humans are imperfect. To be in love with a person, then, is to be in love with someone who will make mistakes—who will hurt you in some way at least once. But it is not just about the other person. We ourselves will make mistakes as well. Further than that, it is in our nature to drive ourselves crazy for no reason (if you need more proof of this, read Annie Ernaux’s Simple Passion). Especially young girls will obsess over what they may or may not have done wrong, possible additional meanings behind their lover’s words, and whether or not the relationship has a future. With all the worry and pain we put into relationships it’s a wonder we don’t give them up all together.

                A recent study on pain might bring some new insight to why, despite all the pain and frustration, we still actively seek love. Siri Leknes, along with her colleagues at the University of Oslo (in Norway) conducted a study in which sixteen participants were put on a machine designed to put them in varying levels of pain by applying heat to their arms. While the subjects were being put through the tests, researchers carefully monitored MRIs of their brains. At the end subjects were asked to rate the enjoyability they found in each shock.

                In the first test, moderate pain was the highest level the subject were put through, and the subjects did not list this level as enjoyable. However, in the second test, when intense pain was added to the mix, the subjects—and their brain activity—confirmed that the same level of moderate pain suddenly became enjoyable. But here’s the really interesting part: the part of the brain that feels pleasure is the same part that feels relief. In fact, that may be all the subjects were really experiencing when they thought they were getting pleasure from the pain. "In other words, a sense of relief can be powerful enough to turn such an obviously negative experience as pain into a sensation that is comforting or even enjoyable," (Siri Leknes qtd. by Tia Ghose).

                So is the simple answer that love is just a relief from the pain of being single? It would seem from this experiment that the pleasure of being in love may stem from the fact that we are relieved to have someone to focus on—to have hope. This may also be the reason we are so drawn to the chase of unrequited love, or a person who will play ‘hard to get’. Perhaps the reason we want the chase is that it makes the pain of not having that person worse and more drawn out. And if the pain is worse, would that not make the relief more satisfactory?

                There you have it. Love is, in short, a relief from being single—the lesser of two evils. If it were not, we would not enjoy the torture it puts us through, and might even run screaming at the first sign that it was coming on. Relief may be the most powerful emotion of all.

OPINION PIECE C

Dating in College: What’s your price?

Dating in 2013 is nothing like it was in the 60’s. In fact, dating in college is completely different from dating after college. College students are notoriously unconcerned about their romantic encounters. They look around the changing environment and choose what they consider to be a safer route. Marriage rates are going down and divorce rates are going up. What’s to be optimistic about? So the attitude evolves into indifference and then into a craving for attention with no long-term commitment or even a lingering friendship in order to increase security. Most of us figure that we’re never going to find that one person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. The idea of a “soul mate” is so restrictive that most college students throw this idea away in favor of carrying on a series of non-committed relationships. But this new collective attitude has unmistakable and unpredictable negative repercussions: broken hearts. We need a system to prevent unmet expectations and unfulfilling relationships as a way to boost optimism in America for finding a partner for life and increasing marriage rates.

If you read dating guidance books like The Rules, they give a very strict set of guidelines to follow that are nearly impossible for college students: don’t accept a date for Saturday night after Wednesday, don’t see him more than twice a week, don’t live with him until you’re engaged. The rules for college kids have evolved but our attitudes have out-evolved our working knowledge of how the opposite sex thinks.

Instead of focusing on how the other sex thinks, we would be more successful in thinking about how humans think. People want what they can’t have. They want the shiniest thing in the display case with the highest price tag, no matter how unaffordable it is. From this information, it is possible to create a personal price. The more expensive you appear, the more desirable you are. But you can’t just look expensive, you have to be expensive. While always looking good is of the utmost importance, what good is looking good if you appear to give it away too easily? Now you’re a pretty item that only costs $5. You want to be a pretty item that costs so much that only the best suited will be willing to pay your price. Your price is not a dollar amount. It’s a representation of the amount of work someone will have to put in to meet your expectations and ultimately win your heart. These expectations will not appear on your price tag. You have to “train” your date to follow them without actually telling them what you want. For example, I expect my date to treat me with respect. He can do this by showing up when he says he will and being courteous to my friends and family. Should my date fail to meet my expectations, I’ll stop seeing him or explain the importance of whatever he failed to do.

Many people play the traditional hard to get game but never mastered the art. Yes, you must restrict your availability to ensure the other person isn’t getting an overwhelming dose of you. At the same time, you must raise your price another way, not just by limiting your supply, but by evolving yourself from a normal good to a luxury good by having clear and meaningful expectations. By using a system that places value on ourselves, we can minimize our romantic losses and heartbreaks to find better quality partners who see and recognize our value and adhere to our expectations.