Stephanie Lessing - "Ten Types of Love"

There are ten types of love most people will experience in life. Not everyone experiences all of them but can usually relate to them regardless of their own love history. These types of love allow us to relate to one another even though a love felt by one couple cannot be fully comprehended by another pair.

First, platonic  love is one of the first types of love people experience. This is a firm friendship in which there is no romantic involvement but you have a deep connection and love for the other person. Typically, this love is for your best friend or a sibling. Evidence of such a love is when you are separated and you miss the other person. This type of love is important because it allows us to feel connected to people who we will never be romantically involved with and just genuinely care about them.

Crushes are the second type of love that most people experience between the ages of 4 and 13. According to Urban Dictionary, a crush is “a painful experience, very common among middle schoolers (and high schooler’s and even adults to a lesser degree) that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if u prefer), being attracted to them physically (most common), or emotionally- also called ‘puppy love.’” But a crush does not have to be a painful experience and can actually be the lead up to a relationship which is hopefully not as painful.

Unrequited love if love for someone who does not love you back or simply heartbreak. This type of love can range from having feelings for someone you know will never love you back to being involved in an on-again-off-again relationship or just having a bad breakup. Unrequited love could be categorized as debilitating. It causes people to question their personality, appearance, and life ambitions. It can even push people into a rut of self-loathing if the object of their desire has a negative reaction to him. All in all, unrequited love can leave people in a volatile state.

Obsessive love is arguably the most destructive type of love. Obsessive love is usually only harmful for the person holding the obsession because it can lead to an unhealthy dependence or possessiveness that drives the other person away. It more severe cases, obsessive love can be dangerous to the object of desire. It can involve a loss of personal privacy and aggressive, abusive or violent behavior on the part of the obsessive person. Obsessive love does not always have to be destructive but could just be considered being heavily invested in someone else’s life. It is sometimes only evident in the beginning stages of a relationship but can continue even after the end of a relationship.

Selfish love is born out of narcissism. Selfish love is almost not even a love between two people but rather a mutual love for the same person. Simply put, maybe your husband loves you and you love you, but you might not love him. You just love that he loves you. People who could be considered selfish lovers may avoid committed relationships or take relationships very lightly or be almost indifferent toward a bond with another person.

Aww love is that cute fairytale only-gonna-last-6-months kind of a love. This type of couple makes all of their friends jealous because they are so into each other and they seem like soul mates. Aww love is sometimes a lead in to a serious relationship or just a temporary little fling, but either way, it does not usually last very long.

Similar to platonic  love is same sex love which is love for a best friend of the same sex but not usually in a sexual way. This type of love is not so much about attraction and more about respect or maybe almost a brotherly or sisterly love.

Lusty love is plain old attraction. It is the kind of love experienced when two people cannot keep their hands off of each other whenever they are together. Needless to say, lusty love is less about an interpersonal or deep and realized connection and more just about sex.

Romantic love is the type that can take up all of your thoughts for weeks and cause you to walk around in a daze. Being with the other person becomes your top priority and the world can see that you love each other because it is written all over your faces.

Finally, unconditional love is what we might argue people might desire most later in life. Unconditional love is just that, it has no conditions. It is forever, no matter what, even if one of two dies or they break up. Unconditional love could be for a sexual partner but also for a close family member like a child or parent. Unconditional love in terms of a committed couple is like fairytale ending for two old people, still in love after years of marriage or a younger couple staying together through a rough experience.